15 12 2015

Adam and his girlfriend are pregnant .. I’m excited but part of me is jealous too . I want them to have all the happy stuff I truly do . But it hurts that I always had to struggle 

And I feel like a monster for saying or thinking this , but I wanted to have a little girl for Paul to treasure and love and God took ours away !! And I’m wondering how I will deal with the feelings when we find out this is a girl — and my instinct tell me it’s a girl 

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