16 06 2016

The news on TV has been so tragic this week. A mass shooting in Florida  that killed 50 and injured 50+ . And a 2 year old boy was dragged into the water by an alligator and drowned. It makes me want to only have the television on Disney or sprout channel 24/7 . I know it won’t stop all the tragedies if I don’t hear about them. It makes me not feel safe to leave the house and still not safe if we don’t these days. I fear for my childs safety constantly . Things are not the same as they were when I was growing up .We could play outside safely and wonder up and down our street without worrying about sex offenders and kidnapping. Maybe it was bad then too and we just didn’t realize it. Maybe it wasn’t broadcasted as much then as it is now . I know bad things happened then as well. I just can’t grasp how some peope do the things they do to others.

Aiden has been in a defiant mood the last few weeks , and he is really trying my patience. I don’t spank him and he really doesn’t need much discipline. I guess he is just testing limits . I am trying to not lose my patience with him but its getting tough. I was also able to let him go to an amusement park with a friend this past weekend  I was worried the entire day but I trust her and knew she wouldn’t let anything happen to him . And he made it back safely and had a wonderful time. I am trying to loosen up a little . I still wait for the bad stuff to happen and something to take him away from me.

Our sod Adam is having his first child with his girlfriend and it’s a little girl. I am happy , jealous and scared all at the same time. They asked if they could name her Allison after his sister and we agreed. I had a hard time referring ot her by that name for a while, but I’m slowly using it more and more. Breanne ( her mom) is in the hospital with pre-eclampsia and wiil have to stay in there until she is born , and they plan to induce her on july 9th. However if her blood pressure becomes unstable before then they will take the baby sooner. I am worried that something is going to happen to this baby too and I won’t even be able to be a grandma to a little girl. and I am also afraid they will keep her from me and I won’t get to bond with her either. Of course they haven’t said anything whatsoever to make me think this way.  As usual it is just my paranoi making me feel this way




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